By Mary Lyn Miller
When this song came out (yes, I was very alive) I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to be 64, much less be loveable at that age.
Of course, my own aging has dramatically changed that. But, as I approach what would have been my Mom’s 96th birthday this week (she passed away at the ripe age of 91 in 2018) I wanted to take a moment and honor a woman who taught me the basics about living life with gusto and passion – NOT JUST AT 65, BUT AT ANY AGE and pass them on to you.
#1 STAY ENGAGED WITH WHAT YOU LOVE.
She was never a “do what you love-the money will follow” kind of lady. But she was a “stay engaged with everything you love” kind of person.
This photo is Mom at 90. We are at some roadside restaurant in Arizona, but Mom was dressed impeccably because she, well, always loved to be well dressed. ( She was with all of 3 adult her children who were celebrating dressed in jeans and sweatshirts for her birthday.)She then went back to her assisted living home where she was enormously popular and involved in Bingo, Bunko and Bridge and some other “B” games, I’m sure. She went on bus rides and outings and to her “Red Hat Women” lunches and to things that absolutely exhausted me. She continued her other favorite hobbies like volunteering at the SPCA and bird watching. The point is she was engaged with meaningful activities, and that’s what I want to keep doing as well. (I love what I do so I’ll probably keep doing it a long time.) What kind of activities are you doing that you love and keep you engaged?
#2 KEEP DOING WHAT YOU LOVE, BUT SHIFT WHEN YOU NEED TO CHANGE DIRECTION. TAKE RISKS.
There came a point when Mom could no longer manage her ample house in Carmel, no matter how much she loved it. She packed up most of what she owned, – and I mean SHE did a lot of it herself, donated a bunch, sold the house and moved to Prescott, Arizona where she could be nearer my brother and sister. She was easily in her mid-80’s suddenly heading out in an adventurous new direction. She found a great place and lived there happily until she passed. By the time she was 90, she had seemed to have had almost no mental decline. My brother, sister and I attribute it to her engaged life and to being able to take the risks she needed. Are you taking all the risks you need to?
#3 STOP COMPLAINING.
Over the years, she had considerable physical problems. She could no longer walk on her own; struggled with narcolepsy, neuropathy and some other “n” words and sported several monitors beneath her cute stylish jeans and periodically visited Emergency Rooms, but nonetheless remained high spirited, engaged, and able to whip through a department store on her walker at amazing speeds (gives new meaning to “shop ’til you drop”) and spent ZERO time feeling sorry for herself. (This is the #1 trait I admire.) While many her age were drooling into a cup, she was making plans. Have you ever focused on just what was going wrong instead of making other plans? (I sure have.)
#4 MAKE PLANS…ANY PLAN.
I think part of why she complained so little is that she was always making plans. She always had another vision. She was re-arranging the bedroom, going thrift shopping, or looking for an exotic trip. She found the perfect traveling companion in my retired teacher-sister, and they went to Mexico enough times that they bought a family condo, and shortly before she passed away, they had just returned from a cruise to Russia.
I am so grateful to this woman (Barbara) who became my mother after my birth mother passed away when I was 11, and took me as her own when she married my dad. I think anyone who knows me well may see that I learned quite a bit from her, and now I get to pass her wisdom on to you.
PS: If you want to talk about enlarging your Passion, Purpose, Visioning, or Community, (or Aging) that’s what we do – and you can blame my mother for it.
Just register for an introductory chat here: https://calendly.com/firedup.
I’d love to talk with you. (You can be loved at any age, by the way.)
